I know what you're thinking...what was the exchange rate between the denarius and the drachma? No? Ok, then you're probably thinking that I've finally lost my marbles. But before we decide if you're right or not, consider this line from his letter to the Church at Rome:
"For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate." Romans 7:15 (NASB)
How many times have I said that to myself? Back during my Day Trading days I remember one day I wrote in my daily journal, before I even traded, "Today I will follow my rules 100% and only take good setups". Not even an hour later I was kicking myself for reaching on a trade and ignoring a rule in the process. It's that horrible, frustrating, condemning word, the one that I both strive for and hate at the same time:
DISCIPLINE
I know...just reading it makes me want to rock myself in the corner and suck my thumb. My relationship with trading discipline is best illustrated below:
copyright Charles Schultz
This time...man, oh man, THIS TIME I'm going to kick that football of discipline. I know I've had my issues in the past, but THIS TIME!!!! This is the time that it's all going to happen.
And yet I end up flat on my back, looking at a trade that just hit Stop Loss, and think to myself "Good Grief! I thought I was disciplined today. I just knew I was going to be overrun with discipline...I had that whole little talk with myself about discipline...DISCIPLINE!!!!"
(it's at this point that a Great Philosopher shows up in my head and spreads his wisdom..."you keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means.")
So what's the take away? If Paul couldn't do it, what hope have I? Well, I guess if I'm going to look to Paul as an example, then I should REALLY use him as an example. He didn't quit, and he looked to God for the strength to be disciplined. I have proven, over and over (oh, so many times over) that I can't do this in my own strength. So, each day I pray for discipline. And it's kind of like praying for patience (which I DO NOT do, because I know what happens!). You aren't GIVEN patience...you are given circumstances to display patience. And your ability grows with each irritating situation. Likewise, I won't be GIVEN discipline. I will, moment by moment, be given opportunities to choose to do what I know I SHOULD do. And before I act, I always know that I am also given an opportunity to ask for help. Do I always take it? See above photo.
So like the Apostle Paul, like Charlie Brown, even like Inigo Montoya, I choose to persevere, and look to each new day as an opportunity to kick that football (or perhaps say "Hello, you killed my father...prepare to die").
I know, you're impressed that I took a New Testament Saint, a cartoon character and Mandy Patinkin and wrapped them all together seamlessly. It's a gift ("and a curse" - A. Monk).
Until next time...
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